I was referred to a service especially for people like ME who felt, thought, behaved the way I did.
I started showing signs of psychosis a few years ago, but to me I was only showing signs of being a young person who felt tired, dazed, confused, anxious, upset, depressed. I started to lose sight of who I was and became consumed by a cloud of odd thoughts about myself, others and the world around me. Days started becoming a blur. I felt I was justified to be suspicious of others around me. If I looked hard enough, I could see what other people were thinking, planning, plotting. After a while it became easier to see the weird things, but harder to see normality.
I felt all my symptoms were weird pieces of a jigsaw puzzle that I couldn't understand, or work out how to slot into place.
I felt all my symptoms were weird pieces of a jigsaw puzzle that I couldn't understand, or work out how to slot into place... they represented how confused I felt. Just finding out that there was such a thing as 'Psychosis' helped my jigsaw puzzle; even more so when I was referred into a service especially for young people like ME who felt/thought/behaved the way I did.
I was so wary of help and advice from others.When I was referred into EIP, I felt I could relax in a way that I hadn't been able to in so long. Upon referral, I initially met with my designated Care Coordinator (CC). She became my 'guide' to the service as she led me through recovery. Having a CC worked so well for me as an individual - I think being so scared and unsure initially meant I was well suited having just one person of contact whom I could build trust, familiarity and security with.
My CC helped me evaluate the things I was doing in life that were more unhelpful than helpful and I started making small changes for the better. Looking at my symptoms closely helped me to identify when things were getting worse - or better; which was important for being able to ask for help. For me, I felt medication was a good route to try in tandem with talking therapies, but everybody finds different things useful.
My care coordinator helped me evaluate the things I was doing in life that were more unhelpful than helpful
Slowly the fog started lifting and I began to feel more like me again. I was able to make good use of CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) sessions with my CC and sessions with the team Psychologist. This helped me understand the way I was feeling when I developed psychosis and look at new ways of coping in future situations.
With the continued support of EIP across three years I feel like 'me' again; I have recently been discharged from the service and am no longer on any medication. I am very ambitious in my career, working full time for the last 2.5 years and am enjoying being a first-time mum to my 10-month-old baby!
Read more: James' story